Living Out Loud
Aus Salespoint
So, heres the selection. We can stop right here, now, and tread no further into the adventure of this lifetime, stunned into silence, by the storied fears within our heads, barren of exquisite feeling, satiated expression, and unqualified authenticity, inwardly aware, at least at some level, of what we have forsaken with our deciding on, now and forever much more, lost to this moment, this moment that only is. Or, we can walk, heads bow...
You Would Jump at Such an Chance, Wouldnt You?
So, heres the decision. We can cease right here, now, and tread no further into the adventure of this lifetime, stunned into silence, by the storied fears within our heads, barren of exquisite feeling, satiated expression, and unqualified authenticity, inwardly conscious, at least at some level, of what we have forsaken with our selecting, now and forever a lot more, lost to this moment, this moment that only is. Or, we can walk, heads bowed low, into the mystery of life, prepared to embrace life with all its ups and downs, its apparent triumphs and failures, understanding that only abundant head-on, breathless, living-out-loud can satisfy. We decide on to be the expansive freedom that comes with our complete consent to life, and enter into this adventure eyes wide open and raised to read this the heavens, our hearts laid bare upon the altar of YES.
Decision is such a loaded word, specifically when you feel you have none, immediately after all, if you felt you had a selection, you would jump at the opportunity for such a life, wouldnt you? Is it feasible that we truly pick lives of quiet desperation rather than deciding on to step up to the plate and reside life head-on, breathless, eloquently out loud?
What would it take to make such a decision? When I was imprisoned in my storied world of fear it didnt seem like a decision. It felt far read full article more like a life-sentenceevent, reaction, experienceevent, reaction, experiencea giant mesmerizing revolving door. I couldnt seem to break totally free of the drama, the continuous dread of the next shoe to drop. I didnt even know adequate to know that I was caught in the door, going round and round. I just believed that this merry-go-round was life. If asked, I would have told you, I would in no way have chosen this!
Comfort kept me bottled up in my old patterns. The recognized is a trickster. It sneakily tends to make you believe that life could often be much worse. The pasture next door may possibly be greener but its full of weeds and snakes and holes. The trickster says, Remain right here exactly where it is familiar, where you know the territory and what to anticipate. Comfort is a guardian of fear. If I wasnt so enamored of security and comfort I would have been much more prepared to opportunity living life completely out loud.
Was I picking? As considerably as the old me would hate to admit it, yes, I was. I was selecting within a framework of worry and had no concept it was in control. My decision was unconscious, but it was decision.
As I write this, I am trying to recall the turning point, that moment in time when life changed, when that something clicked into place and I was no longer prepared to maintain my private status quo, that moment when I chose the road less traveled, and started to walk down the path to freedom. My moment of truth came when I chose to stand up against heartless therapy at operate, supplying my resignation, unwilling to continue with the program as it stood. The option was conscious, though I didnt completely comprehend what generating it meant. Selecting to live out loud becomes simpler immediately after the first excursion and victim-hood wears much heavier than ahead of.
This life lived out loud is what we all want, what we dream of, and beat ourselves unmercifully for not deciding on. We know we are selecting lives of quiet desperation. We know it. As significantly as we attempt, we cant hide from ourselves for long. Each and every time we get that feeling in our gut that says, youre performing it once more, we know we are the ones that let ourselves down. At a deep level, I knew that even before I knew I was caught in the revolving door.
My life as drama seems like a life-time ago, and however, just yesterday, I discovered myself tense and insensitivetied up in knots, although a lot smaller knots, recommended site knots none-the-less. The knots didnt last. As soon as I stopped lengthy enough to see what was happening, they dissolved with my seeing and acceptance. Nevertheless, they had found a way into the calm, wormed their way into awareness, and attempted to convince me of their worth, but once more, I chose. I chose to live a life head-on, breathless, and on the edge of Gods envelope. I cant do that with shards of fear hanging from my ankles. Occasionally I have to give it a tiny kick and shake it loose, like a puppy shaking off its bath, wiggling from the leading of its head to the tip of its floppy tail. We can shake like that tiny dog and dislodge the fear that has us trapped within its spell. All we have to do is pick and let the shaking begin.
What if a demon were to creep immediately after you one night, in your loneliness, and say, This life which you reside must be lived by you once once more and innumerable times much more and each and every discomfort and joy and thought and sigh ought to come once more to you, all in the very same sequence. The eternal hourglass will once again and again be turned and you with it, dust of the dust! Would you throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse that demon? Or would you answer,In no way have I heard anything more divine? Friedrich Nietzsche (German classical scholar, philosopher, and critic of culture, 1844-1900)
